Saturday, 03 October 2009

  • Changing things between Cyrus and I, it's proving to be a hard task but nothing in life is easy so I just got to take it one step at a time.  Today was successful, I tried to take different aisles where he wasn't working and he said good morning I replied back, nice and simple not turning just acknowledging the greeting. Followed the same strategy going in and out of breaks avoiding as much as possible. If i don't see him i don't have to act like a bitch and cold I just simply skip all those steps..which I hope soon it makes him wonder, what's going on. Of course if he doesn't react, I guess I won't be surprised and it will be easier to move on. This was just today though, there is a whole new week coming up and let's see if I can keep up with this whole avoiding thing. The need for his hugs, kisses and listening to his voice is so strong, but I have have to be tougher or else this circle will never end.

    On a refreshing change, I finally picked up the phone to make some actual phone calls and today I decided to call Sancho and oh my goodness was it awesome to hear a familiar voice. She's doing pretty good with a boyfriend and still doing the Marine thing.[Sis, you should def give her a call, she would love to hear from you.] We talked of the past and the present and she had a lot of advice to give me and I was really glad to call a good old friend. Among other things that I'm going to do to distract and keep myself occupied from Cyrus, is calling people I haven't heard from in a long awhile. Also update a little more on here and let my emotions out. When I write, I always feel a lot better because for some reason I don't hold back, I just write down exactly what I'm thinking without editing.

    Mom is going to Portugal for a month starting on the 7th of this month..so that means I'll have the house to myself most of the time but also means I might not be able to go out that much, considering I always tell my mom everything and than let her tell my dad lol..so we will see how things go, but if anything I guess I can have company over during the time that my dad is not around.

    Something my sis and alex might be proud of..after some down time and ignoring Cyrus becomes a routine and slowly fades out of my life; I'm going to get back in the game. Oh because it sure felt good to get hit on at the mall, in the club and my job by another coworker..and i better start coming up with the courage to get some digits because this girl is dying down and that can not happen!

    [this is like very all over the place kind of writing but believe or not I haven't written down in forever so eventually I'll get back to my norm. "I hope!"]

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