Changing things between Cyrus and I, it's proving to be a hard task but nothing in life is easy so I just got to take it one step at a time.  Today was successful, I tried to take different aisles where he wasn't working and he said good morning I replied back, nice and simple not turning just acknowledging the greeting. Followed the same strategy going in and out of breaks avoiding as much as possible. If i don't see him i don't have to act like a bitch and cold I just simply skip all those steps..which I hope soon it makes him wonder, what's going on. Of course if he doesn't react, I guess I won't be surprised and it will be easier to move on. This was just today though, there is a whole new week coming up and let's see if I can keep up with this whole avoiding thing. The need for his hugs, kisses and listening to his voice is so strong, but I have have to be tougher or else this circle will never end.

On a refreshing change, I finally picked up the phone to make some actual phone calls and today I decided to call Sancho and oh my goodness was it awesome to hear a familiar voice. She's doing pretty good with a boyfriend and still doing the Marine thing.[Sis, you should def give her a call, she would love to hear from you.] We talked of the past and the present and she had a lot of advice to give me and I was really glad to call a good old friend. Among other things that I'm going to do to distract and keep myself occupied from Cyrus, is calling people I haven't heard from in a long awhile. Also update a little more on here and let my emotions out. When I write, I always feel a lot better because for some reason I don't hold back, I just write down exactly what I'm thinking without editing.

Mom is going to Portugal for a month starting on the 7th of this month..so that means I'll have the house to myself most of the time but also means I might not be able to go out that much, considering I always tell my mom everything and than let her tell my dad lol..so we will see how things go, but if anything I guess I can have company over during the time that my dad is not around.

Something my sis and alex might be proud of..after some down time and ignoring Cyrus becomes a routine and slowly fades out of my life; I'm going to get back in the game. Oh because it sure felt good to get hit on at the mall, in the club and my job by another coworker..and i better start coming up with the courage to get some digits because this girl is dying down and that can not happen!

[this is like very all over the place kind of writing but believe or not I haven't written down in forever so eventually I'll get back to my norm. "I hope!"]

Nothing much is going on. After my stunning bold move, all we done so far is a whole lot of making out, tiny arguments here and there but always making up afterwards. It's going a tad slow, and going with the flow has proven to be more torturing for me than I thought it would. Part of me wants to ask him, if this is all he wants or if we are going somewhere but he just needs time. The other part that's trying to go with the flow just wants to take it slow and let him make the moves. There is got to be a reason why he hasn't asked me out or to be his girl. I just don't know what to think anymore.

On another note, my wonderful mother is really thinking of going to Portugal so that means little old me can't get her apartment quite yet. I can't leave my dad by himself. Besides the factor that money is tight and most of it is going to bills so i would have to ship in for food, the other factor is he can't even write out a check. Than there is laundry, cleaning, let's face it two men alone, it screams mess r' us. Anyway, it's not like i got a relationship where i want to be alone with my man or they don't give me freedom for me to want my own apartment that badly, but it would be nice if next year i celebrated my birthday bash at my own place argh..maybe it will happen. Maybe mom will go next month and come back before the year ends. That's a slim chance though.

One small dilemma I have at the moment is do I wait for my contract to end on my phone before switching to another company or do I switch without waiting? Will I have to pay termination fee if I switch almost at the end of the contract? If I don't terminate it and let it end out will the service continue or do i call on the day it will end to say i don't want their service anymore? Can you transfer your service to another company and keep your number without paying termination fees on the other company? Just want to hear some of your opinions because I want a new service and most of all in my name and I don't mind getting a different number even though this number that i got goes back to like sophomore or junior year of high school, I think they let you keep your number but again won't i have to transfer services still. I just don't want to get stuck paying a brand new phone/service and than having to also pay a termination fee by the other company. I don't quite remember how it all works.